Love Dare Day 6: Love Is Not Irritable

December 19, 2011 at 8:17 am 2 comments

Day 5: Love Is Not Rude

I need to ask my kids to tell me three things that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with me. I must do this without attacking them or justifying my behavior…. this is from their perspective only.


I was able to ask Tim, Vicky and Stephen (3/5… not bad!)….

Tim and Vicky both said they couldn’t think of anything, but that they would think about it more and get back to me.

Stephen….. he said nothing, that me helping them so much lately and being so attentive to them is actually encouraging him to want to be better. He said it is making him want to help more and that he has been convicted.


This did not go the way I was expecting. So, I cried…. I sobbed last night as I thanked God for His favor and the confirmation I received from my kids. In the past, I know they would have wanted to recite a laundry list! I even saw a Facebook message 2 months ago that Tim had sent one of his friends that said that I was “really REALLY annoying!”

Fathers,  do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. ~Ephesians 6:4

THIS is the verse that came to mind to me when I first read of the dare I was to do yesterday. I am a good exasperator…. and I am so thankful to be changing my heart. For me, I know it is that I don’t want to give up control… which is silly because logically I know I’m not in control anyway! God has been begging me to give control over to him… why do we fight this? Why are we so afraid to trust Him with our children?

Day 6: Love Is Not Irritable

I must choose today to react to tough circumstances with my kids in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where I need to add margin to my schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that I need to release from my life.

Proverbs 16:32

Better a patient person than a warrior,    one with self-control than one who takes a city.

In the Love Dare book, the Kendrick brothers talk about how there are 2 key reasons why people become irritable: Stress and Selfishness.

The Bible is helpful to teach us how to avoid unhealthy stress. It teaches us to let love guide our relationships so we aren’t caught up in unnecessary arguments (Colossians 3:12-14). To pray through our anxieties instead of tackling them on our own (Philippians 4:6-7). To delegate when we are overworked (Exodus 18:17-23). To avoid overindulgence (Proverbs 25:16.)

Selfishness….. this brings me back to my favorite saying I learned this year:

If the situation is SMALL and your reaction is BIG, check the condition of your own heart.

Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to be.

Father, I really need your help with today’s dare. While I maintain a pretty full schedule, I know I manage my time well. I could use your heavenly discernment today as I take a realistic look at my days and see where I need to add margin. Lord, help me see with your eyes, not mine, the areas of stress and selfishness that i struggle with and give me Your revelation! Lord, I know this is a lot to ask, but I need your supernatural intervention in the area. Thank you, Father, and may You get all the glory!! In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.


Entry filed under: Faith, Love Dare, Parenting, Step Parenting.

Love Dare Day 5: Love Is Not Rude Love Dare Day 7: Love Believes The Best

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. FoodForTheBrokenhearted  |  December 19, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Oh my goodness, Megan, yet another good post! I remember when my kids were young and at home and I’ll bet you they could list a ton of things that I did that was “really REALLY annoying” to them, as well!! I think we’re supposed to be annoying or we’re not doing our job the right way!! LOL LOL!!! 😉 Thank you Girl, for yet another awesome blog!

    • 2. megansmidt  |  December 19, 2011 at 9:46 am

      Oh Christi…..

      You know…. I was thinking a lot about that as I typed this morning. ARE we supposed to be annoying???? Or is that we just assume we should be annoying to our kids? I’m still mulling this one over because I do think it is possible to be effective parents without annoying our kids. Now, we certainly cannot control the way our kids view us, but we can behave in ways that we know will NOT be annoying to them.

      I think a lot of it is about our “reactions” to things…. I tend to react out of emotion and making the situation about me. Now THAT is ANNOYING, right? If we react in a loving way, even the hardest situations can be tackled without us being “annoying.” I know for me, I tend to get in the way….

      One “annoying” thing I know I used to always do is ask my kids “WHY?” For instance: “Why didn’t you do your chores?” or “Why didn’t you turn in your homework?” The fact is that the “why” REALLY doesn’t matter and most of the time they have NO CLUE why they did it anyway! What matters is the right thing getting done. Craig has really helped me with this. Instead of getting into the whys, as soon as I see the thing isn’t done, I just tell them to go do it. No drama, no poor me, no WHY!!!!

      That is how I am taking steps to not be annoying!! 🙂


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