Love Dare Day 31: Love is Responsible (again…)

January 29, 2012 at 8:58 am 2 comments

Day 30: Love Brings Unity

I must isolate one area of division in my relations with my kids, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with my kids. I must pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity with them.

The thing that I am having the hardest time with lately with my kids is their pride. If I bring up something to one of them that they did wrong, they immediately start giving me a list of excuses and justifications as to why they did what they did instead of just apologizing. They KNOW they did wrong, but they don’t want to admit it and make it right. They will even go so far as to argue with me with about it, even when they know they are in the wrong.

I am handling this now much better than I used to…. in a much more constructive way, but it really gets under my skin. So, today I prayed for God to show me if I am really handling this issue the way He wants me to and if there is anything I am doing that is perpetuating it in our home…. and if so, how to change that.

I ended up having to have 2 conversations like I just spoke of with my kids yesterday and the Lord so met me right where we were! When I started getting frustrated, he calmed my Spirit and whispered into my soul “show love.” Tim was able to tell me that this “is a habit” and he doesn’t “mean” to do it…. but when he eventually apologizes, he wants me to leave it at that and be done with it. I listened and did my best to not pass judgement…… what the Holy Spirit kept showing me was that he beats himself up inside when he does something wrong and that is why he has so much pride and wants me to leave it alone.

I told him that the reason I bring these things to his attention is not to hurt hm but to help him be better. We all need that accountability in our lives. God calls us to it as Christians…. and as parents. I told him that I thought it would help him to look at these circumstances not as him doing something wrong, but as a chance to be better for Christ. I let him know that because I love him and take my parenting role very seriously, I was going to be lovingly holding him accountable in this area.

God has shown me this week how I need to work on the high expectations I have on my children. I need to keep seeking His guidance in how to handle issues that come up with them and stop trying to handle it all in my power. When I let him, He always shows me exactly what I need to see to handle the situation in the best way. I must yield and obey…. if I can’t do that, how can I expect my kids to???


Day 31: Love is responsible (again…)

Today I will be having that talk with the kids about forgiving me from any hurt or pain I might have caused them in the past through not being intentional about loving them as Christ loves us. I think I’m ready and I would love any prayers you might lift me up with today. I am excited to keep moving forward, intentionally loving my kids the way that God intends us to and not look back!


Entry filed under: Faith, Love Dare, Parenting, Step Parenting, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Love Dare Day 30: Love Brings Unity Love Dare Day 32: Another re-do day….. Intentional Loving

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. heisourstrongtower  |  January 29, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Megan, I read this and I have been in this place that you are with God and my children;

    1, “He beats himself up inside.” You could have been talking about both of my children. You could have been talking about me…because this is something that both of them got from me. No one could be any harder on me than I used to be and I know that for my children it was the same way. I had to accept that God loves me just the way that I am and be the reflection of Him for Sara and Keith. I have always had unconditional love for them, but I did not exhibit unconditional love for myself, so how could they believe it from me, if I did not accept it for myself.

    2. “I need to work on the high expectations.” This one I have also been through and I came out the other side…better for it. I am still praying for my husband to bend to God’s will in this area…because that is just the point of this exercise…”It is not my will for my children or my expectations, it is His will and they only have to live up to His expectations.” I am saying this as a parent of 2 adult children; although there are some reasonable expectations still placed on Keith since he is not totally self-sufficient yet.

    I will be praying for you today; I have had this discussion with both of my children when I apologized to them about 3 years ago for the time of my life when I was not the example that they needed…you are going to be amazed at what God will do for you through this conversation. ❤ ❤ ❤ your heart for your children and for everyone that you share your story with!

    • 2. megansmidt  |  January 29, 2012 at 9:54 am

      Thank you for the encouragement and prayers…. it is so nice to know you are not alone, right??? 🙂

      I know that the kids have seen this change through my actions, but I agree, it will be so powerful to be able to share it in words. We are going to church, then, no one works until tonight, so we will have time together.

      Thank you for your friendship and for all you do to encourage me in this journey… it makes all the difference ❤


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Intentional Living

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